Fun with Umbridge
by Lihini
Summary: What if there were two kids that happened to go to Hogwarts that had a gift of annoyance that they could use whenever they wanted? Meet Lynn and Crystal, two perfectly normal students who happen to have strange gifts that uncoil throughout their yrs at H.


Harry Potter: Annoying Umbridge

Chapter 1: Annoying in and after class.

There are two types of annoyances. One can be where you annoy the person purposefully with really stupid comments. Another annoyance can be where you annoy someone logically: using big words that aren't in the other's vocabulary; or just annoying them with knowledge.

Me, Lynn, and my sister, Crystal, are those types of people that can annoy anyone if we really choose to. Me with the stupid comments, and Crystal with her logic.

I am in the 3rd year while Crystal is in her 5th year. Though we both have Professor Umbridge as our Defense against the Dark Arts teacher. Even though we aren't in Gryffindor, we're in Ravenclaw; we still have loads fun messing with her.

It was about 2:30 pm. I had Umbridge's class while Crystal had Potions. Poor Professor Snape. I sat down in the middle row in the middle of the classroom right beside another Ravenclaw girl in my year. The lesson for today was charming without getting charmed; how pathetic.

I raised my hand.

"Yes Ms. Johnson," Umbridge said in her nasty high pitched tone.

"Professor, how are we to charm someone without getting charmed without using defensive spells or any kind of magic? Just stand in the open and plead for them not to charm you?" I asked, trying to hide my giggles.

Everyone in the class laughed.

Umbridge's face was pink, so pink you would just think that she painted herself that color.

"As I said before," Umbridge said trying to be calm, "The Ministry wishes that we don't use magic. No one has been attacked and there is no purpose in learn defensive spells if no one will be attacked. There are other ways that we can defend ourselves against magic, without using it, dear one. Detention for bringing that up for… what is it now... the _fifth_ time?."

I sat back down and looked at my friend, our facing turning red from us trying not to laugh at how pink Umbridge's face got.

"Well, I guess I'll meet you back at the Common Room after my detention and tell you all about it," I said.

"Ok, see you then, " she said leaving me.

I stayed after class, watching everyone else around me leave the most boring subject in all of the school subjects. I figured I would just stay in her classroom doing my homework until it was time for detention. 3:00, 3:30. 4:00, 4:30. Finally detention was starting.

I packed my books up and headed for her door.

"Come in," Umbridge said.

"Please have a seat. Put your sack down over there, " she pointed towards her closet, "and let's talk for a moment."

I sat. I wondered why she wasn't having me doing lines tonight like she has everyone else do. _Was I special to her? I really hope not._

"You know, I can be a very hazardous germ to your health. I breathe in and out a lot and I usually do it through my mouth, you could end up getting my disease, Dummotitise," I said hoping to urge her onto some other subject other than the one she was going to talk to me about.

Umbridge looked at me sternly and then looking away as if to somehow try and shoo the comment I made away. She turned her attention back to me and asked, " I noticed that you like to ask questions about the stuff that the Ministry refuse to let you children use. Is it your way of getting attention?"

I considered the question. Obviously I did like the attention. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing my weakness, so I told her a different story of mine.

"Yes, yes I do like to ask questions. I am very glad you figured out it was my way of getting attention. I've tried getting attention from my brother before he died but I never seemed to get it. My father says it's a compulsive disorder that I have. My mother sent me and my sis off to a distant relative after telling my Aunt that I was utterly annoying and that she should avoid me at all costs inside the house. But lets' face it; she is more annoying than I am. So it would be that I would try to avoid _**her**_ at all costs, but back to the subject. Truth is, I I get my attention through asking questions. Most of the time -and I believe this is why my mom sent me away- but, most of the time, they are very stupid and abnormal questions that even a little 6 year old would know the answer to. Though, surprisingly, sometimes you have trouble answering them. But, yes, you now know why I ask those questions, if that is all, I should be getting back to my common room," I said, as I changed my tone to fit the right emotion.

Umbridge looked like she was going crack. Her eyes were wide and open so fully that if she were to open a bit farther, they would contract.

"Well, see you tomorrow in class Professor Umbridge," I said skipping down the hall out of the room and back to the common room.

Umbridge got out a pen and paper and started writing:

_Note to self: have at the maximum, 1 more detention with Ms. Johnson. If you do, have it for a ½ hour. No more, only less. Notes about Ms. L. Johnson: very annoying and can ramble. __**Never **__have detention with her alone._

And with that, she went to sleep only repeating her meeting with the Johnson girl. If one were up that night, they would hear a low soft noise that sounded like screaming coming from Umbridge's room.

Lynn slept soundly that night. She heard the screaming and fell asleep with a content smile.


End file.
